I was, what seemed like forever, in search of my true soul mate, my one and only, the person who I could share my life with and give my absolute all to.
I’d been in and out of a relationship with someone for about ten years for all the wrong reasons. But the wrong reasons part I was only to find out much later in our relationship. He is my best friend, I told myself, the only one I can trust, the only person I have in my life who gives to me the way he does as much as he does and who truly cares for me. He is always there for me no matter what; no matter how difficult things got between us, he stayed. The only stable anything that stayed in my life. I need this, especially right now. So what, if we don’t emotionally or spiritually connect the way I am really looking to connect with my significant other? So what, if I’m fooling myself, and him in the process, that there may be a future for us together? Maybe, if I keep changing him, things will be much better and I’ll eventually feel differently about us. Besides, right now this sort of works. There are so many great things I get to do and have that I otherwise wouldn’t do or have in my life. So I’m just going to stick around and see where this goes, even though I know deep down inside that this is going nowhere that I really want it to go.
That was my first unhealthy, long-term relationship that I, eventually, after many years of lessons, was finally willing to let go of, so I could actually make space for and attract into my life who I really wanted to be with.
After this, I had other relationships, some longer than others, that also showed me glimpses of what I could have and helped me clarify further what it is I really wanted in my life.
Before and much more fully after finding my husband, who is also my best friend, I realized who my real soul mate is and always will be. It is not my husband or any other person for that matter.
It was me.
I am who I was looking for all along.
I finally found the real love of my life — MySelf.
That realization was what dramatically shifted my life experiences for the better and, therefore, my entire experience of life as well.